Relationships

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This blog will be about me and my weaknesses so please do not feel as if I am directing this at you or anyone else.

When is the last time you picked up the phone and called someone just to say hi or to check in on them? Now think about the last time you called them for a favor…

Think about the friends you made a few months ago, or maybe even a year ago. How is your relationship with that person now? Is it where you want it to be? What can you do to get it there? Have you already tried? Do you need to stop trying?

These are some of the thoughts that come to my mind when I think about how I relate to the people around me. Because I am a college student who is dependent on financial aid and work study funds (which is really just financial aid you work for), I tend to ask people around me for help…even though it kills  me. I’m the type of person who hates asking for help, even from family members. But if I never asked people around me for help, I’d constantly be in need, and life would be a lot harder. Can you relate to what I’m talking about?

How do I show gratitude to those who help me, when I don’t have much money. If I had money, it would be so easy to “pay them back” for what they’ve done for me. But then again, if I had money, would I have asked for help in the first place…?

Humility is this weird quality that we all aspire to have…(I think most of us). But the life events that come to humble us, don’t always “feel” good. At least not in my life because I have to put my own personal (defensive even) pride aside and become open to rejection to ask for help. The last thing I want is for someone to think of me as a beggar, or as someone who’s always needy. It is so important to me to become independent and self sufficient, words can not express how important this is for me. But even in my endeavors to reach that goal, I have to ask for help every now and again. Humility… If I could personify this word and give it a monologue, it’d say:

“I want to help myself, but I need you to help me. I want to give back to you but I don’t have anything of equal measure. I lower myself and esteem you, for you are kind. I need to grow in so many ways and give more of myself than I have been. I know I can show gratitude greater than words…I need to put in the effort it takes to show you I mean it when I say thank you.”

Humility rubs you, and dulls spikes of pride down. It makes you a real person, gives you wisdom, and motivates you to work at whatever you need to.

I know that the very least I can do to show gratitude to those who help me, is to say thank you and help who I can next. But how would I feel, if someone gave the very least to me? Most of the people in my life, go far and beyond the very least. They go out of their way and make me feel like it’s their privilege to bless me. When I evaluate myself, I don’t think I’m like that right now…but I want to be.

I know this blog is different, and it’s not related to events at school. But isn’t it something we can all relate to as human beings?

Peace.

 

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